Halloween and Firemen go hand in hand!

Halloween is a good time for the Momadonna's to get together and get their priorities straight. Sometimes in the rush of day-to-day life we forget what our top priorities are. For Halloween they are:

(1) Have fun
(2) Use our imagination
(3) Steal a bunch of the minions candy!

So, you ask what does a Momadonna Halloween look like? Is it scary? -Well sometimes. Is it sexy? -Definitely! However the best word to describe a Momadonna Halloween is chaos.

There is so much going on this time of year and we mom's are tossed about in a wild storm of parties, costumes, families and tattoos. It is total chaos and we thrive on it! Momadonna's are the chaos experts. Just look at the definition from Webster's dictionary: “Chaos – a state of utter confusion or disorder that anyone with children experiences twice a day.” OK maybe I edited that a little, but admitting chaos is an all day experience in the life of a mom, may scare some people away from having children. Since I know a few expecting mothers, I will tone it down a bit…for now. As for the Momadonna's, I estimate we each have a minimum of three Halloween parties to go to. Although a few of those parties are our own fault. We have been known to throw a party just because we need to get some use out of that costume we made/purchased. So usually we spend Halloween eating, drinking, and dancing. This year was a bit different. This year we spent it eating, drinking, dancing and hanging out with the firemen. Well at least Ringleader did.
Ringleader volunteered to help the grade school put on a Halloween party for the fifth grade. To set the Halloween mood, she and the other LL's brought in a fog machine, spooky music and a ton of decorations. All was going as planned. The room was smoky and creepy and the minions were really feeling the Halloween spirit. What better way to "scare" the minions (and the teachers) then have a fire drill (completely unplanned) in the middle of their Halloween party! Yay entire school evacuation! Thirty minutes into the drill, the fire trucks showed up. What fun! There's that word "chaos" again.

Apparently fog machines cause smoke detectors to go off, causing the school to be evacuated, causing the fire department to come. Huh, who knew? Well, at least the Minions had fun running amok in their costumes! These mom’s know how to bring the house down and give the kids a Halloween party they will never forget! Unfortunately neither shall the school’s Principal. You should have seen her face when Ringleader and another LL had to go "claim" the contraband that the fireman confiscated. We are still waiting to see if Momadonna's are going to be allowed back in the school.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

It's that time of year again: Time to take that special lady out to dinner and buy her flowers. Yes, it’s a Momadonna anniversary and this year it’s a Bitch. Four years ago on Halloween, Bitch adopted me,thereby acquiring the last component necessary to start the Momadonnas. Of course, we didn’t call ourselves Momadonnas back then. We were just a group of moms having fun. (We didn’t have a clue what we had started.)

My own induction into the group was as out of character for me as possible. You see, it turns out I’m a house potato. A house potato is similar to a couch potato but mashed and served with butter. Instead of being in front of a TV all the time, I was in my house all the time. You know the type - I’m the neighbor that you wave at as you drive past, but not the one you invite to a barbecue. To this day I’m not sure my neighbors even know my name. However, things were about to change.

It was Halloween, and after an aggressive game of rock-paper-scissors (I won of course), I was awarded the right to take our Minion out trick-or-treating. Things didn’t go as planed. As we walked those cold dark streets, we heard a whisper on the wind, “mini punk…miniii pppuuunnnkk…!” Frightened we prepared to bolt when suddenly, out of the darkness, came the source of the haunting call - another Minion! She was out trick-or-treating with her mom and had recognized my daughter.

This was the beginning of the best adventure I didn’t know I was looking for. This was when I met the woman who would change my life and make me use the word Bitch in public. Bitch was so easy to talk to, that I immediately felt comfortable with her. When she offered to let us walk with them - in fact, demanded we do so, I did not even hesitate to agree. She even offered to protect us from the ghosts and the other ghouls of the night by bringing her very big dog with us. Before I knew it, we were sharing secrets and planning slumber parties…ok so the kids were. We moms were planning sleeping-in parties. The result was the beginning of a successful relationship.

I asked Bitch once why she did it. Why did she decide to let me into her life? She said she is just a good judge of character. For this I am grateful. I could never be Punk without my Momadonnas!

You might be a Momadonna if.....

When you tell some one you are "on the same page" it means you are actually reading with your children this time.

You might be a Momadonna if….

You invite all your friends to an outdoor BBQ in the dead of winter.

You might be a Momadonna if....

You argue that dancing should replace baseball as our national pastime.

You might be a Momadonna if….

You say you “think out of the box” because you only drink wine that comes from bottles.

Scary Movie Night Update

Update:
Ringleader made it through the night with only minimal damage. Nothing that a few sessions with The Professional can't cure.

Bitch brought "The Stranger's" as her scary movie pick. She figured if she couldn't scare Ringleader with anything "devil" related, she'd scare her with something about being home alone, with three maniacs tormenting you and scaring the living daylights out of you until you get killed. It worked. Ringleader made her stay a little while until all the doors and windows were checked, and double checked.

Luckily, there were plenty of goodies to keep Ringleader's mouth busy long enough to prevent any real screaming, until the end, but she won't go on about that. Oh and she did stop breathing, but just for half the movie. :)

You might be a momadonna if...

Whenever you hear someone yell "Bitch" you look around and smile.

Momadonnas jokes

You might be a Momadonna if...

you think chocolate pie is something to play in.

Dancing with the LLs!

Now you know the moms love to dance and will use any excuse to do so, well last weekend was no exception. It all started when one of our LL’s (lovely ladies) said she had a bad day a week or two ago and suddenly there was no choice: we had to go DANCING! Dancing is the ultimate cure for about anything. You didn’t get that raise? You need to go dancing. Your accessory is giving you a hard time? You need to go dancing (probably without him). Your house is a mess? You need to go dancing. See it fixes everything!

Dancing, however, is not always as easy as it seems. There is so much more work involved in the process than you would think. For example, at clubs they don’t even start dancing until 10:30 – 11 PM whereas Momadonnas start at 10 AM. That’s a long time for a mom to wait to get her groove on. So we always show up way too early. Of course there are some benefits to showing up early - you can get a good table. This weekend it was the table that really mattered. I dare say we had the best people watching ever!

As you know you never want to be first on the dance floor. This is because those who are will either be crazy or very good dancers. The dancers at our club were definitely the crazy kind. Prior to describing our fellow dancers I would like point out this was not a theme night, there was no special dress code, it was just an average night at the club. We danced with or near the following:

• The Brittanys - larger ladies dressed as schoolgirls.
• Jell-O – named because when she did her dance routine (including half-splits) her thighs jiggled so. It was hypnotic and we couldn’t stop looking … honest we tried we really tried. Then there was the fact that Jell-O also had her shorts on inside out…we know because we saw the tag and she is a medium.
• • Chester the molester –this boy could not keep his hands off girls and was refused by 25 ladies before we lost count. Nothing could deter him, not even flashing a wedding ring in his face. Finally, we were forced to tell him “come on loosen up” is not a good pick up line. I sure hope he was listening!
• Tank girl – she was a very skinny young thing who had on a short dress, no make that a long tank top, no-no a short dress hmmm…. maybe a dress tank top? We couldn’t decide but it was very sparkly and we all had to look. So we started a poll with other dancers. The result was inconclusive but I’m leading toward a tank top used as a dress.
• Homie – he was dressed like a west coast thug in sunglasses (and no the dance floor was not that bright). He danced by himself all night but we didn’t mind, he seemed to be enjoying it.
• Spiderman – yep this one was in full costume fake muscles and all!

Ahhhh dancing, and people watching its all in a days work for a Momadonna.