On occasion the
Moms have asked themselves, if we were ever to turn 40 how would we celebrate? Now
as you know this is impossible because we Momadonnas do not age,* however, if for some unknown reason we
decided we would like to age a little, how would we commemorate such a
momentous event as “The big 4-0”? For surely everyone would be so impressed that
we had survived this long that they would be clamoring to join us in what would
be known as the “Party of the Quadruple Decade.” They would line up in droves
begging to come to the party, if only to eat our cake. Oh yes, there would definitely
be cake!** Indeed, this would have to be some party to make the Momadonnas
happy. So, as I was saying, occasionally the Moms amuse themselves by thinking
of parties and watching others as they embrace old age. The range of party
options/themes/events varies, but one 40th birthday party stands
out: an Accessory who had his at the skating rink.
Now I know that the last time you were at
the local skating rink it was also due to a birthday party, probably for some
Minion, and there were so many other Minions there that finding and holding on
to said Minion was next to impossible. I’m sure for the party hostess it was an
absolute nightmare. No one wants to be in her shoes! You know that at some
point in every skate party the hostess has to explain to another parent that their
child, who was just there a second ago, is missing. The poor child was
innocently spinning in circles around the rink when suddenly a giant vortex
opened up in the middle of the floor and sucked them up. Oh and by the way they
haven't been seen since. I assure you this does happen. Don’t believe me? Just
go to a skating rink (after a few Aspirin and maybe a Dramamine or two) and
watch. Minions are so quick they
will disappear if you blink! Don’t worry there is hope. If you ever find
yourself in this hostess’s situation there is a solution: Pull Out The Cake! Yes
cake again, but when it comes to Minions cake never fails -NEVER! The moment
you pull out a birthday cake all of the Minions within a 1 mile radius will converge
upon you. Don’t be surprised if a few extra Minions, whom you have never laid
eyes on before, show up. This is to be expected. For even in the 5th dimension (as the child sucked into the
vortex above is) they can hear the happy birthday song and will be pulled right
back to the party!
So, as an adult, why not have your own
skating party? If you do here are a few rules our Accessory created for us:
1) Rent it - the whole rink! You are an
adult and as an adult you don’t have to share!
2) Make them play your music- everyone
knows skating rinks don’t have good music, besides that's what iPods were
invented for - forcing everyone listen to your birthday play list!
3) Dress up- it's your party do what you
want! What Moms want at a skating rink is knee high socks and pigtails!
4) Finally watch out for Death – he shows
up when you least expect it… you should probably add a note on the invitation “No
scythes allowed.”
* The Momadonnas are all 26 and here we
shall stay! There is absolutely no reason to go any further. At 26 you are old
enough to know better and yet young enough not to care. Your skin still has its
elasticity and those age spots are still called freckles. It's the perfect age
and I personally have enjoyed being 26 for 15 years now. I fully endorse it.
Here's the Momadonnas stamp of approval:
**
Cake - everyone will come for cake. That’s why they have it at birthdays and weddings,
to draw people in and sucker them into leaving presents!
