It started innocently enough, just a small post on Facebook*, but as with everything involving Momadonnas, things soon got out of control. Let me tell you about the Momadonna's Cheese Intervention:
Punk has to have the unhealthiest diet in three states. When you ask her what she thinks a well-rounded meal consists of she may sound respectable saying something like “a healthy meal will follow the food pyramid guidelines.” Unfortunately, the pyramid she follows is not the one the USDA approves of – most definitely not! She has created her own and it goes a little something like this: Bread, Pasta, Dessert, Anything Fried and Cheese. With cheese being the base everything else is built upon.
After some evaluation (and lots of teasing) it was decided that although Punk was not at the desperate stage of cheese addiction** some preventative measures should be taken. Ok, Ok so they made a bet that Punk can’t make it a whole week without eating cheese! So like any good addict she has joined (created) a support group. Let me introduce the CEA***
• Therapist: The Professional – who else has a nickname that could pull this off? Besides she already has to listen to Punk complain about not having cheese ... she may as well get credit for it.
• Nutritionist: Ringleader – not only can Ringleader pronounce the names of vegetables Punk has never even heard of like Jicama, but she actually eats them too.
• Personal Trainer: iCandy – to help with the cheese detox Punk has decided to exercise the cheese out of her system so of course she needs a personal trainer. The problem will be how the girls hold up when together. Last time Punk and iCandy went out on a walk they ended up discussing how to make their own cheese out of household items...
• Probation Officer: LL Maria – someone has to go through Punks drawers and since Maria was not there to defend herself she was nominated for the job. (its amazing how often your nominated for something when your not in the room.)
• The Enforcer: Bitch – there should always be consequences and Bitch just loves to kick butt -anyone’s butt will do.
Lets see how this cheeseless week goes!
* Facebook post: I wanted to thank everyone for their love and support during my hour of need. It’s going to be tough for a while but I know we can get through this! I will be starting CEA group meetings later this week and if anyone else needs help I would be glad to bring you along. It’s a safe place to admit your addiction and to find support to get you through these trying times. That’s what the CEA is all about, helping you survive one day at a time without cheese.
**The definition of desperate cheese addiction: Where you sell the car to buy a cow to avoid being recognized in the dairy aisle.
*** CEA-Cheese Eaters Anonymous
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