Drifting with the BB Drifters

The moms are always there for each other.... No I’m not going all sentimental on you (I only do that once a year) and this has nothing to do with holding each other up or being there when you need a friend.  In fact, this is probably the exact opposite of that. Lets say you decide to leave town to get away for a bit. Well then don’t answer the door when Punk comes a knocking, because if your 340 miles from home and Punk is 302 miles that could just mean she is only 38 miles away from you!  Suddenly 38 miles doesn’t seem far enough does it?  Next thing you know Punk is at your door and she expects an adventure because you are a Momadonna after all!
 

Unfortunately for  iCandy, she answered when Punk knocked…

iCandy not only answered that door, but she came up with a great Momadonna Vacation idea! She simply said "Lets dance!" and as you know Momaddonas never say no to dancing! So she found a little family friendly bar in town which was having the band BB Drifters play that night and the girls were off to eat and dance the night away!

Now lets talk about the BB drifters for a moment. It seems they have not been drifting very far as of late, in fact their add said they will only play a gig if its 60 miles or less away from their home base. This is probably because most of the band has passed on, but according to the Internet the 1939 band still has a following and is made up of two members (both of which seem a little too young to have been in the band, or possibly even alive back in 1939). However rest assured the band lived up to their add:

  "We are a band that provide music, singing & LIMITED DANCING."

 Luckily for us Momadonnas are never very limited....

The Moms hung out for the first hour, ate and embarrassed teenage minions the second hour (possibly with our singing at the dinner table), then really went in for the kill dancing away the third! We even had the Minions get in on the act, much to their dismay. All and all we had a very good night and would not hesitate to drive 38 miles (give or take 300) to hang out again!

Happy Mother's Day 2013!!!!

This is us!!! Thank you Momma Kambi!!!

Momadonna science project: The Lemon Basil Martini

It all started when two Momadonnas decided they needed to run away, so they went to a restaurant specifically for a drink (it did have rave reviews). Meet the Lemon Basil Martini!

Now our Martini is not theirs but it is amazing! We started with a little internet research, as most things do, and it ended up an adventure hmmmm also as most things with the Momadonnas tend to do.

Well with a little research under our belt we decided to make our own. We pulled out our beakers, flasks, and measuring cups and went to work. Now the first version was not all it was cracked up to be (which didn't stop us from polishing it off). The second was a bit better but the third Ohhh the third now that was good stuff and the fifth went down smooth. So we decided to share! Here is our recipe and if you don't like it we suggest you keep drinking until you do!! *

6 oz citrus vodka
1 oz lemon juice
1 oz simple sugar (1/2 water 1/2 sugar mix)
A hand full of basil muddled to hell with a little bit of granulated sugar and lil bit o'lemon peel.
Then put it all in a James Bond type mixer add ice -shake not stir.

Then we named out new drink the "Thank you for coming so much." And that's a story for another time!

 
* IT WORKS - honest the more you drink it the better it tastes!

Skate for 40!

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On occasion the Moms have asked themselves, if we were ever to turn 40 how would we celebrate? Now as you know this is impossible because we Momadonnas do not age,*  however, if for some unknown reason we decided we would like to age a little, how would we commemorate such a momentous event as “The big 4-0”? For surely everyone would be so impressed that we had survived this long that they would be clamoring to join us in what would be known as the “Party of the Quadruple Decade.” They would line up in droves begging to come to the party, if only to eat our cake. Oh yes, there would definitely be cake!** Indeed, this would have to be some party to make the Momadonnas happy. So, as I was saying, occasionally the Moms amuse themselves by thinking of parties and watching others as they embrace old age. The range of party options/themes/events varies, but one 40^th birthday party stands out: an Accessory who had his at the skating rink.

Now I know that the last time you were at the local skating rink it was also due to a birthday party, probably for some Minion, and there were so many other Minions there that finding and holding on to said Minion was next to impossible. I’m sure for the party hostess it was an absolute nightmare. No one wants to be in her shoes! You know that at some point in every skate party the hostess has to explain to another parent that their child, who was just there a second ago, is missing. The poor child was innocently spinning in circles around the rink when suddenly a giant vortex opened up in the middle of the floor and sucked them up. Oh and by the way they haven't been seen since. I assure you this does happen. Don’t believe me? Just go to a skating rink (after a few Aspirin and maybe a Dramamine or two) and watch.  Minions are so quick they will disappear if you blink! Don’t worry there is hope. If you ever find yourself in this hostess’s situation there is a solution: Pull Out The Cake! Yes cake again, but when it comes to Minions cake never fails -NEVER! The moment you pull out a birthday cake all of the Minions within a 1 mile radius will converge upon you. Don’t be surprised if a few extra Minions, whom you have never laid eyes on before, show up. This is to be expected.  For even in the 5th dimension (as the child sucked into the vortex above is) they can hear the happy birthday song and will be pulled right back to the party!

So, as an adult, why not have your own skating party? If you do here are a few rules our Accessory created for us:

1) Rent it - the whole rink! You are an adult and as an adult you don’t have to share!

2) Make them play your music- everyone knows skating rinks don’t have good music, besides that's what iPods were invented for - forcing everyone listen to your birthday play list!

3) Dress up- it's your party do what you want! What Moms want at a skating rink is knee high socks and pigtails!

4) Finally watch out for Death – he shows up when you least expect it… you should probably add a note on the invitation “No scythes allowed.”

* The Momadonnas are all 26 and here we shall stay! There is absolutely no reason to go any further. At 26 you are old enough to know better and yet young enough not to care. Your skin still has its elasticity and those age spots are still called freckles. It's the perfect age and I personally have enjoyed being 26 for 15 years now. I fully endorse it. Here's the Momadonnas stamp of approval:

** Cake - everyone will come for cake. That’s why they have it at birthdays and weddings, to draw people in and sucker them into leaving presents!

Birthday Week 2013 - The Warehouse Dance

 

Its that time of year again – Birthday week! As you may or may not know, Ringleader, Bitch and Punk all have birthdays within one week of each other. Now what do you do to celebrate a momentous event like this? Funny enough, the moms asked themselves that very question. The Professional suggested one big blow out party hmmm.... that would work. It would also make the party planning much easier. So we agreed and got to work. Unfortunately, there were no big events or locations the birthday girls wanted to be seen at (Not even Disney on Ice – I know I asked). Then Ringleader said she had an idea, and did she ever! She had an amazing idea: A warehouse dance! Perfect! She was able to secure a top notch professional sound system and a whole room dedicated to our dancing pleasure (aka her gym). So the moms got organized. We gathered a few good friends, a disco ball, a black light, numerous tables, light strings, snacks, and suddenly the dance was on!

Of course our girls don’t just dance…they also support each other

and they hung around as long as they could

but eventually they got tired

and the night had to end. We had such a great time and a wonderful birthday party, but we have to wait how long until we can do it again? 365 days? Oh NO, NO, NO- I don't think so! Hot Tamale's birthday is in August and even as we speak the moms are trying to sweet talk iCandy into a 1/2 year bday party (with a half year conveniently falling with in the next month or so!) No indeed we definitely won't be waiting another year!

Luau

 
I love the idea of a luau.  The whole atmosphere of the Hawaiian dinner party is something unique and so appealing that people have been known to pay hundreds of dollars to attend one. Well in Hawaii they do, not so much here in Utah, and definitely not in the dead of winder when we have several feet of snow on the ground. So you may be surprised to find a group of Utah girls who decided to do just that! Of course we aren’t just any group of girls - we are Momadonnas! When we decide to do something we really do it!  Welcome to our luau post and although our luau was a little different than the typical Hawaiian one, there were some shocking similarities:

·      We were warm -due to a fire in the hearth.

·      We did roast meat- on a barbeque grill out back (Hey! The ground was frozen and we couldn’t dig a one inch hole let alone a pit big enough for a pig, so we had hamburgers. Just so you know, I think this is very cleaver of us because although they are not a pork product, they do have a pork like word in them –HAMburgers.)

·      Hula dancers – well not so much dancers but a few of us did were coconut bras and hula skirts over our warm winter clothes.

·      Palm trees and Ocean breezes- we had a nice plastic backdrop with fake palm trees hung outside where a chilly winter breeze reminded us of the Arctic Ocean.

·      Tables heaping with food – and they were too!

·      Floral scent in the air – due to our Scentsy candles.

·      Fresh fruit like Coconut and Pineapple – define fresh? We did have coconut and pineapple that were purchased from a Utah grocery store at some point that very same week!*

·      Poi  - no poi was found on the premises, but it was for the best. We all know Punk would run away scared of it. Hey what is Poi anyway? Its got to be a vegetable** of some sort right? ***

·      Tropical music – care of the iPod and Pandora.

·      Friends – we even had group pictures taken outside in the snow next to our fake palm trees. This wouldn’t have been so bad but Bitch, either losing a bet or winning the war, decided to go out in the just a coconut bra. Now that girl was cold and bold! Way to go Bitch!!!

All and all I think our luau was a success and we are all ready to do it again next snow storm….well maybe not Bitch. I wonder if she has warmed up yet?

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* Coconut- as in the whole coconut! We even had to open it ourselves (we wacked at it with a knife until we could fit a straw in – you see Bling wouldn’t bring The Professional and Punk his ax or a chain saw.)

** Vegetables are Punk’s adversaries and she will avoid them at all costs.

***Poi is a root like a potato. So it qualifies as a vegetable, but has enough starch in it that Punk should actually approve of it.

Life or Death Brunch

There is NEVER enough time – never. Between work, school, minions, exercise, volunteering, family and vacations we never have time to hang out with the moms and hanging out with the moms is a matter of life and death. I know I read it on the internet* it said someplace (possibly Wikipedia or Urban Legends) that being social cuts your risk of early death in half. HALF!!!

So just the other day we were asking ourselves, as we had too in this life or death situation, how do we find time to get together? Well iCandy came up with an amazing solution: Sunday Brunch! How perfect! We have to eat anyway, and there is no work involved, unless you count iCandy having to host the event, clean her house, set the table, make the drinks, organize the food, and provide entertainment. See no work at all- What a great idea! We could even come in PJs if we had wanted to. This was just the
outlet we were looking for, so after giving the minions a pat on the head and winking at the Accessories we were off to iCandy’s house to enjoy a posh spread of healthy-ish food and comfortable conversation. Our one-hour break turned into three, but we were all refreshed after and ready to take on the day.

It was just what we all needed, it saved our lives, it really did.

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* As we all know everything on the internet should be taken literally and as a fact.

Nicknames

“What's in a name? 

That which we call a bitch, 

By any other name 

still yells as loudly." 

 – William Shakespeare-ish

I remember when we first created/acknowledged our nicknames, we laughed ourselves sick! Then we bravely told our friends about these names and they all shook their heads saying we were crazy (and in their defense we were –still are). This was especially true with Bitch’s nickname:  El BITCH. I remember watching the total denial in some of her friends’ faces when she shared her nickname with them at Bunko. There was even a loud argument (which Bitch won of course)– her friends saying there was no way that she could be nick named Bitch! She was way too nice.  Thinking back I don’t think they looked at our Bitch the way we do, the way she does – with attitude.  You see, they are right, Bitch is really a good person. She has rescued little black kittens and found them homes, educated strangers on how to take care of motorcycles because she was worried they would get themselves hurt, raised her 3 week old nephew when his parents couldn’t, and held onto each of us when our worlds fell apart and then dried our tears... ok maybe she didn’t actually dry our tears but she did hand us a tissue so we could do it ourselves.

So you ask how can this person I describe be the bitch? Why? – because this bitch  knows what she wants and she wants Birch as her nickname! Bitch is about attitude and not taking no for an answer. The Momadonna’s Bitch gets what she wants and makes things happen. She will yell across a crowded room and leap tall buildings all in a days work. She will talk the talk and walk the walk. She is the Bitch and don’t you forget it!

iCandy takes on Hollywood

This is a story about volunteer work. Now I know I got you all excited when I said Hollywood, but in my defense Hollywood got all excited when I said iCandy.

You may, or may not, know that moms are known for doing volunteer work. It’s true! The moms have helped volunteer everywhere from historical monuments to the local grade school. They help museums create displays, archeologists dig, as well as donating time and food to the area’s local food bank. What can I say, we are moms and volunteering is part of the job description. Seriously! When you become a mom you put that little minion first and you donate almost all your time to the effort of helping them grow into what we hope to call a civilized adult. So we are totally naturals* and why not put that effort towards other worthy endeavors too? I mean everyone wants a Momadonna around them! Everywhere I go I see business just begging the Momadonnas to help, they put up signs like “volunteers needed” and I know that’s just for us. Having a Momadonna in the building makes everything so much better.

Hollywood is the same, and they could definitely use a little Momadonna influence. So iCandy bravely stepped into that void. She joined the Sundance Film Festival and over a week impressed such famous actors as:

 

Dermot Mulroney from movies such as My Best Friends Wedding and The Grey

Jennifer Hudson from Dream Girls and American Idol

Alicia Keys The talented artist who crated such songs as the current hit Girl on Fire.

UFC/MMA  - all of them the whole Ultimate Fighting Championship League had to be impressed with iCandy, and I don’t blame them she does stand out in a crowd.  I am just curious to see if Jr. Santos dared to arm-wrestle her or not?

Ahhh Sundance its a great place to be and I just bet the Momadonnas will have more to say about it in the future.... including the Professional hanging out at Ashton Kutcher's After Party.

* I want to point out when I say we "are totally naturals” that is completely different from saying we went totally natural – you can see the difference right?

Bling B-Day

 

What do Momadonnas do after the Holiday Parties come to an end? We party more of course!

You may ask what makes a good party in January (other than having a few Momadonnas on site)? Well having a good reason to party is a good start and it seems the Moms can always find a reason! Our most recent party definitely was for a good reason it was for Bling’s Birthday!*

January Birthday parties are always appreciated. After the holidays we all feel the need to get out and play. So this party was exactly what the doctor ordered! We celebrated Bling's successful completion of another year with good friends, good food, good conversation, good dancing, good yoga**, and lots and lots of fire! So how could it not be a success? Oh and when I say fire I’m not just talking about the small blaze on the birthday cake (although we have been 26 for so long we could probably burn a house down with the amount of candles that make an appearance on our cakes now days). No indeed! This time we are talking serious fire with an actual fire dancer twirling his fire pois around for all to see. If it hadn’t been 4 degrees we would have thought we were in Hawaii or some tropical retreat! Unfortunately it was 4 degrees and we couldn’t stay out very long no matter how much we had to drink. So we made lots of smart A$$*** comments and video taped it to replay again and again!

All and all we had a great night – Happy B-day BLING!

 
* Bling is the Ringleaders Accessory (for any who didn’t know). He is also the only Accessory with a shiny nickname and I think he likes it that way.
** Yoga – yes you heard me correctly and what would a party be without girls doing yoga in the front room? I have pictures, but I’m not sharing!
*** A$$ - the $ is an S. You see, it has to be spelled this way because Punk can’t swear.  She has tried but she really isn’t any good at it and so as you may have guessed talking to Bitch can be a real problem for her….

Explosive New Year

This is how 2012 started.....lets see if 2013 can live up to it!

It's not you, it's me

“It’s not you it’s me” – Wow did I really just say that? What in the world possessed me? Before you ask the answer is NO, this was not my breaking up with some man (although I can think of a few Accessories I would have liked to use this line on in the past). As a matter of fact this was not said to ANY man or woman at all, but instead to a 12 year old Minion. First, I want to point out that I do like to encourage this particular minion to “be herself” and not to “fall for peer pressure”, but I find sometimes peer pressure isn’t so bad and maybe we should pay a little more attention to those around us and their opinions. So although I said no to her purchasing a real 2-pound steel army helmet and wearing it to and from the junior high, it was definitely not her. It was all me at my mommy best!

It also made me think. How often do I say something that could have been phrased just a little differently so I didn't look quite so crazy? Well I'm not alone (I know I asked) and it turns out it is a mom thing! Sometimes we just find ourselves saying something that we would never have expected to hear coming out of our own mouths. It’s also usually something that could be taken wrong and almost always embarrasses us for at least a day. *

In fact, as a mom, I think it’s a pre-requisite. We have all said something unexpected and we will continue to do so. One mom said she asked her son (in front of others) “Why does your coach like little boys?” Of course a comment like this, overheard and out of context, would cause anyone to raise an eyebrow.  Now in her defense there was a logical reason for this question. You see she had noticed that the basketball coach kept putting the younger boys in the game and was not letting the older ones play, but anyone overhearing this would definitely not understand! Other comments that didn’t sound very good when overheard were:

“Good come! Good come!” –when the 1 ½ year old came when called.

“You need turkey droppings?” –a Thanksgiving misunderstanding.

“Look at her blow her nose!” –no comment! You just need to know that it’s the small things that make moms happy.

“Wow you are a dirty boy!” –this comment is perfectly innocent when used on any boy under the age of 10… no lets make that 8.

“Want to go sit on the Dude’s lap?” – for some reason this moms kids took to calling Santa The Dude.

“Don’t touch his balls!” – Yes indeed every mom has had to yell this at one time or another because kids just love balls. **

“You leave your teeth in the car young lady” -yelled across a parking lot and no I can’t really explain this one away but trust me it was for the best.

* Note: After one day most embarrassing moments become great stories to be used at parties and other social gatherings.

** Oh no! Do I have to add “kids just love balls” to the list of things I never thought I would say?

Momadonna Car Wash

What does a Momadonna do when she runs out of wine? Scream, cry, run around the neighborhood yelling the sky is falling the sky is falling…well sometimes, but other times the moms, being woman of action, find a creative way to get their hands on more wine. This is the story of one of those times.

Driving around the city you see many sites, but if you are with an Accessory, you will definitely have any and all bikini car washes pointed out to you. Punk, not to be out done by girls ½ her age*, decided she could do just as well raising money for her cause – Momadonna’s Play time. So she decided to have her own fundraiser. However, because these are Momadonnas we are talking about, it was not funds they were working for, OH NO not at all- it was wine.

So Punk made flyers and invited everyone to her Wine-raiser…

Then the Moms took a clue from the other car washes and created signs to wave this one said" “Car Wash -will work for wine”

Finally they actually washed cars - Momadonna style wine in hand ready to go!
The end result was a good five hours of fun before the Accessories came and dragged the Momadonnas back to their respective houses.** The Moms earned just enough wine to drink together that night, which as we all know was the real reason they were doing this anyway.  All and all a successful day for the Momadonnas.

*Punks age -26ish, really 26ish and she has been for over 14 years now….
** 5 hours = 1/2 hour to clean two cars and another 4 ½+ for the moms to socialize.

Momadonna Lip Balm prints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Momadonnas at my side.

Many scenes from our motherly adventures flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed a mom with me. Sometimes there was one mom, other times there were two. Sometimes all the moms were together, but there was always a Momadonna with me.

So I said to the Momadonnas, "Why do you walk with me always? Through the most trying periods of my life as well as the fun and relaxing ones?"

The Momadonnas smiled at me and replied, "Why, because that's what friends do."

4th of July

What would the 4th be without the Momadonnas having a BBQ and the Accessories blowing up mail boxes?

It would be boring, yes definitely boring. So we HAD to have a BBQ and yes the boys did indeed blow up mail boxes!*

The BBQ went splendidly with the moms all sitting around chatting about the day while relaxing in the great out doors (aka Punks back yard). The food was prepared, cooked, and magically appeared before us and our only job was to pretend to be dessert. 

After we ate and talked until we were satiated, then we began the hard part - finding a good place to sit and watch the fireworks. Now no firework extravaganza is complete without sparklers so we started with those. Unfortunately as everyone remembers sparklers are scary and someone always gets burned. So to encourage the Minions to get into the sparklers and put on a show for us, the moms had Punk start sparking. Specifically they had Punk write her name in the dark and jump around enthusiastically until all the kids found themselves participating except the 16 year old. It turns out Teenage Minions are too cool for sparklers, but secretly we know he wanted to and if we would have all turned out backs for a second he would have joined in (or if a cute teenager girl said it was cool.... enough said) Then it was time for the real pyrotechnics to start!

We had the Accessories teach the minions how to light the fireworks so that we could relax, sit back in our chairs and watch the show. Oh and the commentary! Not only did we ohhh and ahhh as appropriate but we also got to yell at Minions and Accessories alike as we told them "how to do it right." All without once moving from our seat. Unfortunately for the Accessories, they had to move from their seats. This happened when we realized the fireworks were a little too close to our cars for comfort- in fact way to close and the more the Minions helped the closer the fireworks seemed to get! The end result was the moms were treated to a car show as well as the firework extravaganza. 

The show lasted for almost an hour and then it was time to say goodbye. iCandy, with a pouty lip, bid her farewell and The Professional hugged  everyone enthusiastically as part of  her goodbyes. Then Bitch complemented the Accessories on their show and with a pat on our back snuck away before we could see the tear in her eye and finally our dear Ringleader bid us adieu with a melancholy smile and a wave. Soon all the Monadonnas were gone as was another 4th of July.... it was a very  poignant moment or at least it would have been if I hadn't made that last part up. You see the moms actually helped Punk clean things up and left rather cheerfully knowing they all had a fun filled  night, but wheres the drama in that?

*  Well maybe we shouldn't say the Accessories blew "up" the mail boxes - it was more a blow out and open... and yes most of the mailbox is still standing.

Bunco

Have you heard of Bunco - that friendly game of dice played by moms everywhere? If so, do you think it’s just a game? Well it’s not! It’s girl’s night out with attitude! Think about it, an excuse to get out at least once a month with 12 of your girlfriends and party hardy until the sun comes up or, to be somewhat more realistic, until the hostess kicks you out.

Bunco also teaches you important life skills such as how to fluster someone, perform Voodoo, swear like a sailor, and that luck pays (possibly up to $50 depending on how lucky you are that night.)

The Momadonnas Bunco group also likes to do more together than just role the dice, so for this last get-together they went to the movie Magic Mike. Now as any girl knows the more the better and when I say more I’m talking about BOTH more of the Magic Mike Men and more Momadonna Girlfriends! So on this particular night there were 14 of us moms at the movie and for those who are counting, yes that is more girls than the Bunco group can account for. Then again, we are talking Magic Mike here. This has to be the best girls night out movie ever! The movie is such a tease * that our girls comfortably jeered and cheered at it while threatening to stand up and throw money at the screen (for those who don’t know it’s a male stripper movie so throwing money would have been perfectly acceptable and if not, then getting kicked out also would have been fine. Of course in a theater of 200+ rowdy women those poor little ushers didn’t stand a chance) So we printed up our money and we were ready to roll!

All and all we moms do so enjoy our Bunco nights and at the end of the night only one question remains - Why, oh why, isn’t Magic Mike in 3D?!?!

The End?

You may have noticed the Momadonnas articles have not been coming out as often as they used to, and I have to admit that as the author I have noticed this too.  So I asked myself what’s happening? I also answered myself (as you have to when talking to yourself) and I have to admit was a bit surprised by my own answer: I was just not feeling it.

So is this the end? Are we now going to evolve into the X-moms? Can you see us now - Superheroes like X-men but less manly, more momly, but still looking great in spandex.  NO- Silly of course we are not stopping! No, No, No acting as Momadonnas is our way of life! Besides we have too many wild adventures to stop being us, and what would we do without out our traveling lip balm? We are what The Professional calls “Forever Friends”.  Wherever life takes us we will always be friends and even if one of us were to move away, we would never totally lose touch! We are the kind of friends who after ten years run into each other at the mall and are right back where they left off as if the time in-between had never occurred. The Momdonnas love each other and as they say "the proof is in the pie" *

The end result is I have decided to write again. I figure someone has to tell our friends what we are up to. I also think a page dedicated to the Momprom is a necessity because if we didn’t share that event I’m fairly sure the world as we know it may cease to exist….

See. Told you so.

*What- people don’t say “the proof is in the pie”? Well they should then shouldn’t they besides it was a chocolate pie....

Happy Mothers-Day 2012!!!

A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '23.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.'

Slumber Parties

Public Service Announcement: I would like to inform our readers that the moms are now into throwing slumber parties. Now I’m not talking about the kind where a group of women get together and buy “adult toys” like they would Tupperware. (Although we did have one of those parties recently and for anyone who’s curious including iCandy – No, there is no sleeping involved.)

The kind of slumber parties we are talking about are real deal where Minions cause havoc all night long and moms have an excuse to throw pillows at each other. These parties can be FUN for all ages and why not! The Minions aren’t the only ones that know how to have fun. We moms have been practicing for years.* Why not use those skills!

During our last slumber party we re-discovered a few party essentials such as where to hide your drinks, truth or dare, and floats. Yes floats! However, our floats aren’t the run of the mill root beer flavored ones. Oh no, most definitely not! We moms used wine. We took a scoop of rich chocolate ice cream placed it in a cup and poured in one of our favorite red wines. It didn’t look like much but after some serious double dog dares we ALL gave it a try. The result was amazing we all had to agree that it was much better than it looked! In fact the result was actually quite tasty resembling some of the chocolate dessert wines you can buy… not that we were able to finish off the whole drink, but all and all it turned out to be a successful experiment.
Another thing we re-discovered at the slumber party was that those mischievous games you play at sleepover’s still work on adults! Yes indeed, get out your markers girls (the ones that wash off with water please) and watch the mayhem ensue. The end result for was… well… I guess you will just have to see it for yourself:
Yep enough said or viewed as the case may be.

* Notice when talking about our childhood, the Momadonnas carefully omit any reference as to exactly how many years…

Smoking Hot Bitch

The Momadonnas seem to love bets, there was the week without cheese and the bikini dinner just to name a few, but this time they have a realistic worthwhile bet – Bitch is quitting smoking! She has decided to quit smoking for a month and maybe longer (we are crossing our fingers on this one). Unfortunately we are all also waiting for the explosion! This is because Bitch has decided there is only one way to stop smoking and that is cold turkey! Very cold turkey indeed! This turkey is so cold it’s frozen. She said I’m done and that was that. She just quit. The Moms, however, don’t think it’s as easy as she is making it out to be. So, just in case, we have the Bitch Support Structure securely in place. We have Ringleader leading the way with her daily dose of love and support. The Professional is there with her consummate knowledge, skills, and encouragement. Then there is Punk -she offered to quit smoking with Bitch, which is a very nice gesture, but since she doesn’t smoke (and never has) we’re not sure how much help or understanding she can supply. Of course it could be she just wants a patch – think of it, Punk bouncing off the walls like a 5 year old on sugar. Um… hum...well now... I guess that could be interesting. Not that there are any patches to give her because as you know when Bitch quits she just quits so "Patches, we don’t need no stinking patches."* Well, at least for now. You have to be careful what ideas you give the Moms, sometimes those ideas comes back to haunt you.


*It is a quote from Blazing Saddles (A Punk Movie) which in turn misquotes The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and of course we misquote even the Blazing Saddles line by using Patches for Badges. Oh yes, you were just part of a Momadonna Movie History Lesson!

The After Christmas Party

Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Everyone gives you presents, you have an excuse to do some serious shopping and strange men want you to sit on their lap and offer you candy!* I can’t think of any other time of year when the festivities are so encompassing and we Momadonnas are not immune to its affects. We love the Holidays! We find ourselves running around allover the place causing general mayhem. However, since it is such a busy time of year, we find we have little time for ourselves. This year we had so little time we didn’t even host a Momadonnas Christmas Party! Well iCandy would not put up with that! She found a way to make us party - introducing the Christmas After Party. Much like the Grammy or Oscar After Parties this party was full of beautiful well dressed women, paparazzi,** and awards (in the form of gifts this time – not actual trophies).

iCandy must have been inspired. You know how every year you are the recipient of at least one gift that makes you shake you head and say “what were they thinking?” Well this party took advantage of that fact and each guest was asked to bring “one wrapped re-gifted present” for a gift exchange. They say one persons trash is another person’s treasure - well we were about to put that idiom to the test!

The Result you ask? It was a resounding success! We loved the re-gifting! Several gifts were so well received that they were actually fought over. Others gifts however, such as the 2010 scantily dressed Men of the Islands calendar and a gift that may prove to be the yard sell find of the year: chicken oven mitts, were so impressive they simply brought us to tears…. in fact days later we find they still do.


* Ho Ho Ho – yes him
** Coincidentally enough the paparazzi were those same well dressed women whipping out their iPhones.

Moms love their Jammies!

What sounds good to a Momadonna? Dancing – yes, but that’s not the answer we’re looking for this time. It’s pajamas! Yes our PJ’s always sound good to us. We have been known to spend whole days in our Jammies (usually with an excuse handy, something like we are sick or one of the Minions is). Pajamas are just so comfortable and easy - we love to wear them! There should be a holiday dedicated to relaxing in your nightwear. However, since there is not one, we have had to get creative in order to get our pajama fix. That’s where our Bunko group comes in. Last month’s Bunco was also a PJ night! How perfect is that? We had some comfy girl time with warm soup, festive games and slippers. It was a giant slumber party (minus the sleeping part) for us Moms. We gossiped, played with each other’s hair and snacked the night away in comfortable companionship.

However, the next day I started wondering what do our pajamas say about us? I mean we had everything from a crafty little holiday sleeper set to a one piece footed ensemble. It’s funny but as I look back, each of the girl’s choice in pajamas really did say something about her.

And what do your PJs say about you? I did some research for all you moms out there and here is what I found:

Flannel pajamas: These are for girls who are comfortable with themselves. If you wear Flannel you are doing it for you and your personal satisfaction.

Silk pajamas: Silk is for girls who like to be touched (I know this because I read it on the Internet). You may wear these for your man but most women say they choose silk for themselves because it makes them feel good. Silk even calls itself the “sensual fabric”- enough said.

Lacy littles: Lace is not necessarily comfortable (sometimes it’s down right itchy) so if you wear it to bed you’re a pleaser. Oh yes we went there. These PJs could be renamed “give me some love’n pajamas.”

Nothing: If you go to bed in your bare essentials they say you are confident and spontaneous. I say you are also possibly kinky…

Tank top & matching shorts: This is for the playful girl. It shows you are comfortable with yourself and confident (you would have to be in order to walk around with those short PJ shorts on. They are way to cheeky.)

T-shirt: This is for the sporty and practical girls. They know what they want and can obtain it with great efficiency.

Footie Pajamas: These PJ’s scream personality. They tell everyone who sees you that you are out to have a little fun. However, what they say about your love life, well now that’s a whole different story isn’t it……

The great MILF debate

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November Birthdays

It’s that time of year again: The Professional celebrated her Annual 26th Birthday and the Momadonnas are ecstatic! We know there is nothing like a November Birthday, we crave them-no we NEED them! You see, by the time November rolls around we all need an excuse to Party and Thanksgiving just doesn’t cut it. Not that we don’t love Thanksgiving, it's just not the partying type of holiday…. I mean you don’t get any presents, it’s on a Thursday,* and there is no dancing involved. Although, by the end of the night, everyone is rolling around on the floor moaning (because they ate too much) which from a distance could look a bit like dancing.

This year The Professional’s Birthday started with our sleeping in** followed by the official Momadonna gathering at 1pm. Which, coincidentally enough, is also when we decided to get dressed. Not that we couldn’t all get together in jammies but it was The Professionals birthday after all. So the moms gathered. We are actually very good at gathering and this particular time we were able to make a day of it hanging out all day until our dinner reservations at 7. However, as you know when your with the Momadonnas, nothing goes as expected.

Arriving at the restaurant the moms found their dinner delayed. So what did they do? Break out dancing? Well yes, but first they got their hands on the restaurant’s Karaoke room! This was a perfect fit for The Professional’s birthday and even though the karaoke instructions were in Korean, the moms had a blast! Of course, after a relaxing day together that included wine and sake, the moms were more than ready to sing in Korean if necessary. Yes parts of us were feeling very good about then.

When the night ended The Professional must have been feeling good too. She told us it was a "perfect birthday" and honestly that’s all we need to hear. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!



* Thursdays are not the best day for a holiday - you may have to work the next day! Not that you will get much work done on a Friday after a holiday....
**The moms were able to sleep in because they arranged to have the school closed that Friday. Not that the school district knew it was for us or because of us (they thought it was a compensatory day due to parent teacher conferences), but we will take credit anyway.