Momadonnas take the bull by the horns!

I would never have ridden the bull without the moms - watch out this just might be a serious story!

There are times in life when you look around you and smile at where life has taken you. I found myself in that situation last Saturday when I mounted a mechanical bull. I had always wanted to try one. I was sure I would be a good rider and I was! I lasted almost 2 seconds (they were very long for seconds). This is a new experience for me, both riding the bull and getting out there. In the past when an opportunity like this came up I may have talked about it but in the end I would always chicken out. This was true even if I was the only one there and no one was watching (or listening in the case of karaoke). This time it was different. I thought about the Momadonnas and how much fun we would have with our own mechanical bull. I asked my self “What if we could rent one of these for a party? Wouldn’t that drive the neighbors and the Minions crazy? Gosh shouldn’t I just test it to make sure it is fun….” Next thing you know I’m up (and back down – about as fast as you read this) but the point is I did it and with people watching!

Because of the Momadonnas I am always thinking about what we moms can do or accomplish. This is both for fun and sanity (you need a lot of help to stay sane these days). Experience is a great teacher and the moms and I have been through a lot.

So now I find myself pricing mechanical bull rentals. I can see it now a wild mechanical bull (with lots of soft mats) pulled up in a trailer in front of my house. All the neighbor kids watching and drooling as we moms (queens of our domain) concur the bull. Then we ride off into the sunset laughing…on our mechanical bull.

How to have fun on $20 or less - Mustaches

There is nothing sexier than Girls with mustaches. Anyone will tell you a little bit of facial hair on a female can go a long way…. The Momadonnas say mustaches in particular can make or break a party. Think about it without a mustache you cannot be one of the three amigos or hang with Groucho Marx! As Momadonnas we cannot grow our own (definitely CAN NOT grow our own – no matter what you say or see including any waxing – CAN NOT ok sorry back to the story) so we have to buy them. We would suggest the self-adhesive kind. A multi pack should work nicely. When it comes to mustaches we feel we have been particularly creative. Therefore, we are comfortable giving the masses a few of our fashion tips. First try multiple mustaches on one individual. You will be amazed at all the places you can put them. Another favorite of the moms is mustache eyebrows. By adding mustaches to your eyebrows (the darker and bushier the better) you can effectively accentuate your facial expressions. May we also suggest the unibrow? It makes quite an impression. The Momadonnas had so much fun with our mustaches we felt obligated to share this joy with the Accessories and Minions. The poor Minions were inspired at first, but soon we had them crying. Who knew that the adhesive would stick so well?

The Accessories

The poor Accessories they never get enough attention and have to put up with a lot to be with us. For those who have not read our definitions Accessories are our men and we love our men! I ask you, would we give them their own name (i.e. Accessories) if we did not adore them? Would we allow them to stand near us if we did not appreciate them and find value in them (value - like making us look soooo good when they are standing there at our sides)? No we wouldn’t. I want to reassure all of you that although we joke and tease them, we would never go without them (except on girls nights, holidays, parties, dancing, shopping, weekends, pedicures and the entire month of October) and I’m sure they find being with us worth the rewards. I will not go into details on the rewards – this is NOT that kind of blog!

As proof of our affection for the Accessories we offer last weekends surprise party. This party was held in honor of one of the Accessories and like all Momadonna parties it started with a mess. Of course I must add it was on purpose as everything we do always is. We started our party by sitting our accessory of choice down and displaying for him a sample of our cooking prowess. As Bitch held the cake up to him to admire he dutifully sniffed the cake – wait sniffed our cake! What the @#%? Bitch would not put up with that and with a smile on her face she promptly smooshed the cake into his. Most of the cake survived so later that night we still had a snack. However you will note we ate all around the edges of the cake while carefully avoiding the nose print in the middle.

For the Accessories entertainment we were kind enough to pull out the fire pit. As you know fire works well on Accessories. They are hypnotized by it and are known to sit next to it for hours. Well sitting isn’t exactly correct it is more like picking and prodding at it. We let them. For we feel it is good for the Accessories to think they have control over something. Then since this was a celebration we decided to give them a little lighter fluid in which to work with. They were in heaven right up until the point where we had to take the lighter fluid away. This was necessary due to the fact the fire was now as high as the second story windows of the house. We didn’t want the fire department over again (but that story is for another day)

All and all we had a lovely party for our accessory. We had our music, our dancing, our drinks, our food and we didn’t even have to cook it (other Accessories did that for us). Even when it rained we found a way to enjoy that too – think punk dancing. We had a good time I think the Accessories may have too….I forgot to ask them.

Moms Unite!

When life gets difficult and tragedy strikes the moms band together and unite!

We put on our capes and gather our crew
Next out come the wine glasses both old and new
Then we clink our glasses together and shout:
Wonder moms activate?

Nah that does not seem to work it doesn’t even rhyme. How about “there is no need to fear the Momadonnas are here!” OR “In brightest day in blackest night no children shall escape my sight!”

Being a mom is like being a superhero. Moms just don’t get credit for our super powers. (I dare anyone to say moms do not have super powers. You know we do. If you hesitate to believe me wait until I talk you into doing something you didn’t want to…then as you complete that task you “didn’t want to do” you will see the extent of a moms true power.) We know moms are superheroes and the Momadonnas would like to rectify this oversight. So we officially declare all moms should be given superhero status. You know anything we declare is now fact (if only in our own minds)! That said I think we are ready to try again.

When things look bad go to hell the Momadonnas will together yell:

“To all the sprinklers that break and spray,
and the all-bad drivers that get in our way.
To all our enemies both big and small,
from weeds and dogs to anything at all.
We give you fair warning these moms can fight.
For nothing can stop us when we unite!”

Go Mom Power!