PIE!

What do you call 21.5 pounds of dry chocolate instant putting mix, 25 pounds of cornstarch and more water than you can measure mixed together in a kiddie wading pool? “A crazy disaster waiting to happen?” Ummmm… maybe, but we call it MOMADONNA pie.

Some things just can’t be explained (or believe which is why we take pictures), however, I am going to attempt to do just that:

It all started when Punk got an idea, not just any idea but one so big it just had to be acted upon! Punk had been watching Attack of the Show and when the hostess Olivia Munn jumped into a giant pie. Punk turned to her Accessory and said I NEED TO DO THAT!!! Unfortunately for all the other Momadonnas, that’s exactly what she did.

In all fairness, prior to the big jump, she did tell the other moms what she was up to and obtained their agreement to participate. However, why they agreed is still one of life’s great mysteries (especially to the Momadonnas themselves). Possibly they agreed because they didn’t believe she would follow through. Or it could have been due to a long night of wine drinking… who knows, but in the end they did show up for the big jump!

Punk, having secured their approval proceeded to bake. This included gathering ingredients, testing pie consistency*, obtaining extra large kitchen utensils**, and making more chocolate pudding than anyone should see in their lifetime. By the time this month long process was complete the Moms not only had a large pie to jump in but also a fair size audience.***

When the day finally arrived it was sunny and clear. Punk lead the way, cautiously making her way to the pie. As the audience held their breath, the other Moms slowly started edging their way toward the mammoth pie too. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop… What am I saying? These are Momadonnas - there was no silence! Instead there was loud teasing and taunting until the big moment arrived and PUNK JUMPED!

The other Moms followed suite and soon all were enveloped in chocolate pie! However, as Arnold H. Glasgow said, nothing lasts forever **** and so eventually the Momadonnas had to get out of the pie. So off they went up through the house to take a shower.***** No we will not give details!!! PA-LEASE this is a mom site not a bad girlie one!

End result was: Four happy moms, a burned out a hammer drill, one ruined kiddie wading pool, and a mess so large it took over a week to clean it up. However, all the moms had soft silky skin for the next few weeks so it was all worth it!!!!! Now the girls are just waiting for the giant margarita…

* Testing Giant Pies is a very scientific process involving lots of guesswork and no real science at all.

** Utensils to make a giant pie included: a hammer drill, 5 gallon bucket, and a wading pool aka pie pan.

***Several people in the audience had accidentally heard about the pie and they just showed up.

**** Nothing lasts forever- except maybe the smell of chocolate pudding in Punk’s back yard….

*****Yes the moms ran through the house to shower – we found pudding in places you would never expect months after the big event!

Extra Extra Moms take over the news!

What is it that makes you a Momadonna? Punk would start off with the obvious saying it’s about being a great mom and stopping the Minions from taking over the world. Bitch would add that you have to have fun while doing so and that all the Momadonnas have attitude or as Punk likes to call it “personality.” Then The Professional would come along and say that it is much more than just being moms it’s also about our great friendship. Finally, Ringleader would chime in and say; yes that is all true but you also have to be YOU! Not just any old you but the best darn you that you can be!* So she personally runs in numerous races such as Ragnar Relays and as you know when a Momadonna does something she does it big!

The Ragnar Relay races are no exception. Ringleader just finished her third Ragnar race. When she finished she was not only stimulated, excited, and tired to the bone, but she was also cover story material for the news paper.** WE love publicity!!! Ringleaders article can be found in the Salt Lake Tribune. http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/sports/52031990-77/team-relay-cancer-taylor.html.csp
The newspaper pointed out that “While hundreds of teams of 12 participated in the race, two teams stood out from the crowd” That of course was Ring Leaders Team the Plundering Pavement Pounders. A most awesome team whose sense of style impressed the reporter…. possibly due to the argyle sox and eye patches! The article noted “some members of the Pounders took their team spirit one step further than the pirate emblem on their shirts. [Ring Leader, Bling and friends] got tattoos of the Ragnar Relay emblem before the race.”

A Momadonnas life is never dull!

** If anyone can fit the word “You” in this sentence one more time please let me know. I will be very impressed.
** No the article was not on the cover – but it should have been. I mean a Momadonna was in it, Hello - shouldn’t we always be on the front page?

Its that time of year again:

The Declaration of Wine Dependence

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for moms to dissolve the worries of the day they shall band with one another and drink some wine.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that (initially) all portions should be crated equal, That all wine should be consumed in the pursuit of Happiness, and that in the process of drinking each should imbibe at her own pace according to her own tastes and temperament. We understand that each wine is endowed by its creator with certain unalienable characteristics such as vintage and age. Therefore both whites and reds shall be consumed. – That to secure these characteristics Mom Rules are instituted among Momadonnas, deriving their just powers from themselves and not of the governed (i.e. minions and sometimes accessories). Momadonnas compassionately lay the foundation of these “Mom Rules”, as to them shall seem most likely to affect the minions safety and happiness.

Mom Rules

Prudence is encouraged. No minion should approach a Momadonna without careful evaluation of his or her request. Any request considered unnecessary or tattling will be ignored.

Accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind is more disposed to suffer, were the Momadonnas to go “with out”. Therefore upon request all Accessories should be willing to bring home pizza, cook steak and run to the store for more wine. A magnum or two should do.

We find while some evils are sufferable no glass should go empty. The Momadonnas declare that all glasses should be re-filled at anytime by anyone walking by with the expectation that the Momadonnas shall never go dry.

We, the Momadonnas, by our own Authority do solemnly publish and declare, that this Declaration of Wine Dependence stands for us, with us and sometimes against us.

Punk Hancock
Ringleader Hancock
Bitch Hancock
The Professional Hancock