Monday, December 16, 2013

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Drifting with the BB Drifters


The moms are always there for each other.... No I’m not going all sentimental on you (I only do that once a year) and this has nothing to do with holding each other up or being there when you need a friend.  In fact, this is probably the exact opposite of that. Lets say you decide to leave town to get away for a bit. Well then don’t answer the door when Punk comes a knocking, because if your 340 miles from home and Punk is 302 miles that could just mean she is only 38 miles away from you!  Suddenly 38 miles doesn’t seem far enough does it?  Next thing you know Punk is at your door and she expects an adventure because you are a Momadonna after all!
 
Unfortunately for  iCandy, she answered when Punk knocked…

iCandy not only answered that door, but she came up with a great Momadonna Vacation idea! She simply said "Lets dance!" and as you know Momaddonas never say no to dancing! So she found a little family friendly bar in town which was having the band BB Drifters play that night and the girls were off to eat and dance the night away!

Now lets talk about the BB drifters for a moment. It seems they have not been drifting very far as of late, in fact their add said they will only play a gig if its 60 miles or less away from their home base. This is probably because most of the band has passed on, but according to the Internet the 1939 band still has a following and is made up of two members (both of which seem a little too young to have been in the band, or possibly even alive back in 1939). However rest assured the band lived up to their add:
  "We are a band that provide music, singing & LIMITED DANCING."
 Luckily for us Momadonnas are never very limited....

The Moms hung out for the first hour, ate and embarrassed teenage minions the second hour (possibly with our singing at the dinner table), then really went in for the kill dancing away the third! We even had the Minions get in on the act, much to their dismay. All and all we had a very good night and would not hesitate to drive 38 miles (give or take 300) to hang out again!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day 2013!!!!

This is us!!! Thank you Momma Kambi!!!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Momadonna science project: The Lemon Basil Martini


It all started when two Momadonnas decided they needed to run away, so they went to a restaurant specifically for a drink (it did have rave reviews). Meet the Lemon Basil Martini!

Now our Martini is not theirs but it is amazing! We started with a little internet research, as most things do, and it ended up an adventure hmmmm also as most things with the Momadonnas tend to do.

Well with a little research under our belt we decided to make our own. We pulled out our beakers, flasks, and measuring cups and went to work. Now the first version was not all it was cracked up to be (which didn't stop us from polishing it off). The second was a bit better but the third Ohhh the third now that was good stuff and the fifth went down smooth. So we decided to share! Here is our recipe and if you don't like it we suggest you keep drinking until you do!! *

6 oz citrus vodka
1 oz lemon juice
1 oz simple sugar (1/2 water 1/2 sugar mix)
A hand full of basil muddled to hell with a little bit of granulated sugar and lil bit o'lemon peel.
Then put it all in a James Bond type mixer add ice -shake not stir.



Then we named out new drink the "Thank you for coming so much." And that's a story for another time!
 
* IT WORKS - honest the more you drink it the better it tastes!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Skate for 40!

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On occasion the Moms have asked themselves, if we were ever to turn 40 how would we celebrate? Now as you know this is impossible because we Momadonnas do not age,*  however, if for some unknown reason we decided we would like to age a little, how would we commemorate such a momentous event as “The big 4-0”? For surely everyone would be so impressed that we had survived this long that they would be clamoring to join us in what would be known as the “Party of the Quadruple Decade.” They would line up in droves begging to come to the party, if only to eat our cake. Oh yes, there would definitely be cake!** Indeed, this would have to be some party to make the Momadonnas happy. So, as I was saying, occasionally the Moms amuse themselves by thinking of parties and watching others as they embrace old age. The range of party options/themes/events varies, but one 40th birthday party stands out: an Accessory who had his at the skating rink.

Now I know that the last time you were at the local skating rink it was also due to a birthday party, probably for some Minion, and there were so many other Minions there that finding and holding on to said Minion was next to impossible. I’m sure for the party hostess it was an absolute nightmare. No one wants to be in her shoes! You know that at some point in every skate party the hostess has to explain to another parent that their child, who was just there a second ago, is missing. The poor child was innocently spinning in circles around the rink when suddenly a giant vortex opened up in the middle of the floor and sucked them up. Oh and by the way they haven't been seen since. I assure you this does happen. Don’t believe me? Just go to a skating rink (after a few Aspirin and maybe a Dramamine or two) and watch.  Minions are so quick they will disappear if you blink! Don’t worry there is hope. If you ever find yourself in this hostess’s situation there is a solution: Pull Out The Cake! Yes cake again, but when it comes to Minions cake never fails -NEVER! The moment you pull out a birthday cake all of the Minions within a 1 mile radius will converge upon you. Don’t be surprised if a few extra Minions, whom you have never laid eyes on before, show up. This is to be expected.  For even in the 5th dimension (as the child sucked into the vortex above is) they can hear the happy birthday song and will be pulled right back to the party!

So, as an adult, why not have your own skating party? If you do here are a few rules our Accessory created for us:
1) Rent it - the whole rink! You are an adult and as an adult you don’t have to share!
2) Make them play your music- everyone knows skating rinks don’t have good music, besides that's what iPods were invented for - forcing everyone listen to your birthday play list!
3) Dress up- it's your party do what you want! What Moms want at a skating rink is knee high socks and pigtails!
4) Finally watch out for Death – he shows up when you least expect it… you should probably add a note on the invitation “No scythes allowed.”


* The Momadonnas are all 26 and here we shall stay! There is absolutely no reason to go any further. At 26 you are old enough to know better and yet young enough not to care. Your skin still has its elasticity and those age spots are still called freckles. It's the perfect age and I personally have enjoyed being 26 for 15 years now. I fully endorse it. Here's the Momadonnas stamp of approval:


** Cake - everyone will come for cake. That’s why they have it at birthdays and weddings, to draw people in and sucker them into leaving presents!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Birthday Week 2013 - The Warehouse Dance

 
Its that time of year again – Birthday week! As you may or may not know, Ringleader, Bitch and Punk all have birthdays within one week of each other. Now what do you do to celebrate a momentous event like this? Funny enough, the moms asked themselves that very question. The Professional suggested one big blow out party hmmm.... that would work. It would also make the party planning much easier. So we agreed and got to work. Unfortunately, there were no big events or locations the birthday girls wanted to be seen at (Not even Disney on Ice – I know I asked). Then Ringleader said she had an idea, and did she ever! She had an amazing idea: A warehouse dance! Perfect! She was able to secure a top notch professional sound system and a whole room dedicated to our dancing pleasure (aka her gym). So the moms got organized. We gathered a few good friends, a disco ball, a black light, numerous tables, light strings, snacks, and suddenly the dance was on!

Of course our girls don’t just dance…they also support each other
and they hung around as long as they could
but eventually they got tired

and the night had to end. We had such a great time and a wonderful birthday party, but we have to wait how long until we can do it again? 365 days? Oh NO, NO, NO- I don't think so! Hot Tamale's birthday is in August and even as we speak the moms are trying to sweet talk iCandy into a 1/2 year bday party (with a half year conveniently falling with in the next month or so!) No indeed we definitely won't be waiting another year!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Luau

 
I love the idea of a luau.  The whole atmosphere of the Hawaiian dinner party is something unique and so appealing that people have been known to pay hundreds of dollars to attend one. Well in Hawaii they do, not so much here in Utah, and definitely not in the dead of winder when we have several feet of snow on the ground. So you may be surprised to find a group of Utah girls who decided to do just that! Of course we aren’t just any group of girls - we are Momadonnas! When we decide to do something we really do it!  Welcome to our luau post and although our luau was a little different than the typical Hawaiian one, there were some shocking similarities:

·      We were warm -due to a fire in the hearth.
·      We did roast meat- on a barbeque grill out back (Hey! The ground was frozen and we couldn’t dig a one inch hole let alone a pit big enough for a pig, so we had hamburgers. Just so you know, I think this is very cleaver of us because although they are not a pork product, they do have a pork like word in them –HAMburgers.)
·      Hula dancers – well not so much dancers but a few of us did were coconut bras and hula skirts over our warm winter clothes.
·      Palm trees and Ocean breezes- we had a nice plastic backdrop with fake palm trees hung outside where a chilly winter breeze reminded us of the Arctic Ocean.
·      Tables heaping with food – and they were too!
·      Floral scent in the air – due to our Scentsy candles.
·      Fresh fruit like Coconut and Pineapple – define fresh? We did have coconut and pineapple that were purchased from a Utah grocery store at some point that very same week!*
·      Poi  - no poi was found on the premises, but it was for the best. We all know Punk would run away scared of it. Hey what is Poi anyway? Its got to be a vegetable** of some sort right? ***
·      Tropical music – care of the iPod and Pandora.
·      Friends – we even had group pictures taken outside in the snow next to our fake palm trees. This wouldn’t have been so bad but Bitch, either losing a bet or winning the war, decided to go out in the just a coconut bra. Now that girl was cold and bold! Way to go Bitch!!!

All and all I think our luau was a success and we are all ready to do it again next snow storm….well maybe not Bitch. I wonder if she has warmed up yet?
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* Coconut- as in the whole coconut! We even had to open it ourselves (we wacked at it with a knife until we could fit a straw in – you see Bling wouldn’t bring The Professional and Punk his ax or a chain saw.)

** Vegetables are Punk’s adversaries and she will avoid them at all costs.

***Poi is a root like a potato. So it qualifies as a vegetable, but has enough starch in it that Punk should actually approve of it.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Life or Death Brunch



There is NEVER enough time – never. Between work, school, minions, exercise, volunteering, family and vacations we never have time to hang out with the moms and hanging out with the moms is a matter of life and death. I know I read it on the internet* it said someplace (possibly Wikipedia or Urban Legends) that being social cuts your risk of early death in half. HALF!!!

So just the other day we were asking ourselves, as we had too in this life or death situation, how do we find time to get together? Well iCandy came up with an amazing solution: Sunday Brunch! How perfect! We have to eat anyway, and there is no work involved, unless you count iCandy having to host the event, clean her house, set the table, make the drinks, organize the food, and provide entertainment. See no work at all- What a great idea! We could even come in PJs if we had wanted to. This was just the
outlet we were looking for, so after giving the minions a pat on the head and winking at the Accessories we were off to iCandy’s house to enjoy a posh spread of healthy-ish food and comfortable conversation. Our one-hour break turned into three, but we were all refreshed after and ready to take on the day.

It was just what we all needed, it saved our lives, it really did.

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* As we all know everything on the internet should be taken literally and as a fact.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Nicknames


“What's in a name? 
That which we call a bitch, 
By any other name 
still yells as loudly." 
 – William Shakespeare-ish

I remember when we first created/acknowledged our nicknames, we laughed ourselves sick! Then we bravely told our friends about these names and they all shook their heads saying we were crazy (and in their defense we were –still are). This was especially true with Bitch’s nickname:  El BITCH. I remember watching the total denial in some of her friends’ faces when she shared her nickname with them at Bunko. There was even a loud argument (which Bitch won of course)– her friends saying there was no way that she could be nick named Bitch! She was way too nice.  Thinking back I don’t think they looked at our Bitch the way we do, the way she does – with attitude.  You see, they are right, Bitch is really a good person. She has rescued little black kittens and found them homes, educated strangers on how to take care of motorcycles because she was worried they would get themselves hurt, raised her 3 week old nephew when his parents couldn’t, and held onto each of us when our worlds fell apart and then dried our tears... ok maybe she didn’t actually dry our tears but she did hand us a tissue so we could do it ourselves.

So you ask how can this person I describe be the bitch? Why? – because this bitch  knows what she wants and she wants Birch as her nickname! Bitch is about attitude and not taking no for an answer. The Momadonna’s Bitch gets what she wants and makes things happen. She will yell across a crowded room and leap tall buildings all in a days work. She will talk the talk and walk the walk. She is the Bitch and don’t you forget it!


Sunday, January 27, 2013

iCandy takes on Hollywood

This is a story about volunteer work. Now I know I got you all excited when I said Hollywood, but in my defense Hollywood got all excited when I said iCandy.

You may, or may not, know that moms are known for doing volunteer work. It’s true! The moms have helped volunteer everywhere from historical monuments to the local grade school. They help museums create displays, archeologists dig, as well as donating time and food to the area’s local food bank. What can I say, we are moms and volunteering is part of the job description. Seriously! When you become a mom you put that little minion first and you donate almost all your time to the effort of helping them grow into what we hope to call a civilized adult. So we are totally naturals* and why not put that effort towards other worthy endeavors too? I mean everyone wants a Momadonna around them! Everywhere I go I see business just begging the Momadonnas to help, they put up signs like “volunteers needed” and I know that’s just for us. Having a Momadonna in the building makes everything so much better.

Hollywood is the same, and they could definitely use a little Momadonna influence. So iCandy bravely stepped into that void. She joined the Sundance Film Festival and over a week impressed such famous actors as:
 
Dermot Mulroney from movies such as My Best Friends Wedding and The Grey

Jennifer Hudson from Dream Girls and American Idol
Alicia Keys The talented artist who crated such songs as the current hit Girl on Fire.
UFC/MMA  - all of them the whole Ultimate Fighting Championship League had to be impressed with iCandy, and I don’t blame them she does stand out in a crowd.  I am just curious to see if Jr. Santos dared to arm-wrestle her or not?

Ahhh Sundance its a great place to be and I just bet the Momadonnas will have more to say about it in the future.... including the Professional hanging out at Ashton Kutcher's After Party.

* I want to point out when I say we "are totally naturals” that is completely different from saying we went totally natural – you can see the difference right?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Bling B-Day

 
What do Momadonnas do after the Holiday Parties come to an end? We party more of course!

You may ask what makes a good party in January (other than having a few Momadonnas on site)? Well having a good reason to party is a good start and it seems the Moms can always find a reason! Our most recent party definitely was for a good reason it was for Bling’s Birthday!*

January Birthday parties are always appreciated. After the holidays we all feel the need to get out and play. So this party was exactly what the doctor ordered! We celebrated Bling's successful completion of another year with good friends, good food, good conversation, good dancing, good yoga**, and lots and lots of fire! So how could it not be a success? Oh and when I say fire I’m not just talking about the small blaze on the birthday cake (although we have been 26 for so long we could probably burn a house down with the amount of candles that make an appearance on our cakes now days). No indeed! This time we are talking serious fire with an actual fire dancer twirling his fire pois around for all to see. If it hadn’t been 4 degrees we would have thought we were in Hawaii or some tropical retreat! Unfortunately it was 4 degrees and we couldn’t stay out very long no matter how much we had to drink. So we made lots of smart A$$*** comments and video taped it to replay again and again!

All and all we had a great night – Happy B-day BLING!
 
* Bling is the Ringleaders Accessory (for any who didn’t know). He is also the only Accessory with a shiny nickname and I think he likes it that way.
** Yoga – yes you heard me correctly and what would a party be without girls doing yoga in the front room? I have pictures, but I’m not sharing!
*** A$$ - the $ is an S. You see, it has to be spelled this way because Punk can’t swear.  She has tried but she really isn’t any good at it and so as you may have guessed talking to Bitch can be a real problem for her….

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Explosive New Year

This is how 2012 started.....lets see if 2013 can live up to it!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

It's not you, it's me


“It’s not you it’s me” – Wow did I really just say that? What in the world possessed me? Before you ask the answer is NO, this was not my breaking up with some man (although I can think of a few Accessories I would have liked to use this line on in the past). As a matter of fact this was not said to ANY man or woman at all, but instead to a 12 year old Minion. First, I want to point out that I do like to encourage this particular minion to “be herself” and not to “fall for peer pressure”, but I find sometimes peer pressure isn’t so bad and maybe we should pay a little more attention to those around us and their opinions. So although I said no to her purchasing a real 2-pound steel army helmet and wearing it to and from the junior high, it was definitely not her. It was all me at my mommy best!

It also made me think. How often do I say something that could have been phrased just a little differently so I didn't look quite so crazy? Well I'm not alone (I know I asked) and it turns out it is a mom thing! Sometimes we just find ourselves saying something that we would never have expected to hear coming out of our own mouths. It’s also usually something that could be taken wrong and almost always embarrasses us for at least a day. *

In fact, as a mom, I think it’s a pre-requisite. We have all said something unexpected and we will continue to do so. One mom said she asked her son (in front of others) “Why does your coach like little boys?” Of course a comment like this, overheard and out of context, would cause anyone to raise an eyebrow.  Now in her defense there was a logical reason for this question. You see she had noticed that the basketball coach kept putting the younger boys in the game and was not letting the older ones play, but anyone overhearing this would definitely not understand! Other comments that didn’t sound very good when overheard were:

“Good come! Good come!” –when the 1 ½ year old came when called.
“You need turkey droppings?” –a Thanksgiving misunderstanding.
“Look at her blow her nose!” –no comment! You just need to know that it’s the small things that make moms happy.
“Wow you are a dirty boy!” –this comment is perfectly innocent when used on any boy under the age of 10… no lets make that 8.
“Want to go sit on the Dude’s lap?” – for some reason this moms kids took to calling Santa The Dude.
“Don’t touch his balls!” – Yes indeed every mom has had to yell this at one time or another because kids just love balls. **
“You leave your teeth in the car young lady” -yelled across a parking lot and no I can’t really explain this one away but trust me it was for the best.


* Note: After one day most embarrassing moments become great stories to be used at parties and other social gatherings.
** Oh no! Do I have to add “kids just love balls” to the list of things I never thought I would say?