How many Accessories does it take to change a light bulb?

How many Accessories does it take to change a light bulb? I don't care but if you have a few extras please send them my way....

Once upon a time an Accessory mentioned that the Momadonnas don't seem to like men. We disagree! Boy Howdy do we ever! We LOVE men, in fact we love them so much we would like to have 7 or 8 each. Seriously, would we bother to give them a Momadonna nickname if we didn't like them? Silly men, they don't know their own worth, but we do! This got us a-think-n “What men would we like for our 8 man entourage?” So as a public service to moms everywhere here is a list of men every mom should have in her life:

The Protector - If you don't have a big dog for protection then a man is the next best thing. Men are natural protectors. Why do you think they are so obsessed with fire, into sports, and always picking out the action movies at the theater? It is in their genes! All men respect a protector and all women adore him. Including Momadonnas, for example, when we go dancing we usually form a circle in an organized effort to keep the Creepers at bay, however, when we bring an Accessory along those same Creepers keep their distance!

The Cook - A man who knows how to cook is unlike any other. They not only save you time in the kitchen but they are happiest when serving you! They freely use words like hot, succulent, sticky, tantalizing, sweet, tasty, exotic, spicy, ahhh.... if only men would talk to us like that more often. Cooks are also known for their tendency to experiment and any man who wants to experiment on us, well now, that may have to be it's own subject!

The Cleaner - Ha ha ha. We think he is extinct that is if he ever existed at all…..

Mr. Fix it - Sometimes you need a man to fix things. That's not to say you can't do it yourself but it is so much more fun to watch him do it (especially if he is also eye candy man). We all know when you fix/build something, it is never as easy to do as it looks and inevitably there will be a few parts missing. So you may as well have a man do this for you, besides men like to shop at Home Depot, right? Add the fact that it is a stress reduction for you (not necessarily for the man) then you almost HAVE TO wrangle up an Accessory to fix it for you.

Eye Candy Man - Self-explanatory. We love eye candy men!!!

Mr. Kisser - As the name implies this is a man we love to kiss, amongst other things (AKA friend "with benefits"). We love to be with him. He makes our toes tingle and sometimes other parts. No other man can get our heart racing as fast or give us the same wild rush of emotion. Basically it just feels good when we moms are with him. …..Whoa that did NOT come out as planned! OK when I said we moms are with him above I was not implying all the moms are there with one accessory - We DO NOT SHARE! Whatever were you thinking?

Mall Guy- We all have a story about that one time a stranger gave us "the look." You know the one. The one where he smiles, looks you up and down, and is clearly enjoying the view. We adore these men. There are no strings attached and no commitment needed. He simply helps you acknowledge that you are a lovely lady who should be noticed. Nothing beats the feeling of knowing you are desirable! Of course when this happens you must immediately brag to your girls or your Accessory - whomever is closest!!!

Companion - OK truth be told sometimes it is nice to simply be with a man. Someone you can talk to and who will give you another point of view. Someone who will sit-back and relax with you and who likes you exactly as you are. He can also be any one of the other men above or a compilation of all of them. As long as being with him feels good then he is exactly what we need! Of course if he is also a good masseur that doesn’t hurt either….

The Breakfast Club

I can see it now, you are sitting there with a puzzled look on your face thinking of the 1985 Movie The Breakfast Club and wondering what, if anything, it has to do with the Momadonnas. Well we are too….

Lets see both the Momadonna Breakfast Club and the Movie The Breakfast Club involve people (some of which are female), both start in the morning, and both involve Molly Ringwald. Well no, that’s not technically true, but we feel like we know her and we have all met - her on the big screen! I guess we just wanted to start a good rumor. That said rest assured there really aren’t any “Molly” Momadonnas. Really there aren’t. So, to answer your original question, the Momadonna Breakfast Club has absolutely nothing to do with the Movie other than a similar name and before you ask; yes, we did name it the Breakfast Club on purpose. The name was created for one reason and one reason only - Punk thinks it’s funny.

So what is the Momadonna Breakfast Club? It is an excuse for the moms to get together (as everything we do is) and eat (which we have to do anyway). It started when Punk and LL Michelle decided they wanted to try a few different places for breakfast. Now each month a new location is chosen. The restaurants picked could be a friend’s recommendation or just some little diner that looked interesting as we drove past. Then on a pre-picked morning, off we go to explore the eating opportunities that present themselves. It’s a great chance to hang out with the girls and not feel guilty about spending time and money eating out. Mind you we can justify about anything but this one is especially easy. That is because eating with the Breakfast Club is a social event not just an excuse to get out of the house and NOT cook!

Momadonna Play date at the InstaCare

Just because the Momadonnas get sick from time to time doesn’t mean we stop having fun! We moms can make the most of any situation. Take the common cold…yes please take it, I’ve had enough!* This week Punk and LL Heather both had a bad cold but it didn’t stop them! They had a good time comparing symptoms and deciding which doctor’s office to go to. But that’s not all oh no! We moms are experts at being sick. We now have fun with each of our symptoms:

1.) Husky Voice or Laryngitis -Just because we’re sick and can’t speak that doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the other moms. We think we are what the Minions call “tech savvy” aka we don’t need to ask a Minion to set the time on the VCR for us - Oh Crap! I shouldn’t have said that because it dates us and I’m not sure the Minions even know what a VCR is! I should have said the clock on the blue ray player. Oh well! I have further justification that we are tech savvy: we all have cell phones and we actually text each other.** So even when we are sick we are still in communication with the other moms! However, if we find our fingers aching we may still call each other and make fun of what Punk calls our sexy voices. A sexy voice sounds something like a chain smoker; deep, growly and very manly –yep it’s a great voice.

2.) Exhausted -Just because we can’t stay awake for more than four hours doesn’t mean we won’t make the most of those hours our eyes are open and just because we can’t walk up stairs without getting short of breath doesn’t mean we don’t count those 10 steps as our exercise for the day. Sometimes we can be very active while sick. We may choose to move into a whole new room for our next nap. Yes we are busy, tired girls!

3.) Aching bones –Specifically the Funny Bone. Just because we’re sick it doesn’t mean we lose our sense of humor. Although all the medication does mess with it a bit…. If someone sick thinks they made a joke we all kindly smile, even if that joke doesn’t exactly make sense. Besides as moms we expect you to all read our minds anyway. It’s a mom thing or maybe a girl thing either way its our progative.

4.) Can’t take care of yourself – Just because we’re sick it doesn’t mean we can’t take care of ourselves but as Momadonnas don’t need to. That’s because we Momadonnas take care of each other! When I was sick last, within a 24 hour period, I had offers from the moms for: medicine, drinks, food, daycare, a chauffer and yes a play date with another sick mom at the InstaCare! The moms are the best! They are always there for you and they all know what you have been going through. This is because they were sick with it last week or will probably have it next week- we blame it on the Minions. They may not be that good at sharing their toys but when it comes to germs they love to share!***


* Yes this is a bad Rodney Dangerfield joke but at least we admit it….
** Anyone can make a call with a cell phone but if you text you are truly modern.
*** And you can’t complain, I mean at least they are sharing, and this time without you having to yell at them first!