Scary Movie Night

Bitch and Ringleader have a tradition every October, they have a scary movie night. They stay up late and when the kids are in bed and they are all ALONE (no accessories allowed in the house) they watch a scary, creepy, gory, gross, horror movie and freak each other out. Bitch freaks Ringleader out by just making her watch the movie and Ringleader scares Bitch by screaming really loudly when something particularly horrible occurs. Of course we won’t mention the times when Bitch jumps out from behind a wall to scare Ringleader or when during the most intense part of the movie she grabs Ringleader from behind. All and all it’s good scary fun. At this point you will notice the rest of us don’t volunteer to stay over that night. Not that we Moms haven’t had our share of sleepovers. We have been known –as adults- to stay up late giving each other pedicures and telling ghost stories. However, scary movie night is not the time for such frivolities.

This tradition started when Bitch was lonely on a night when Ringleader’s accessory just so happened to be out of town. So she came over and brought a movie to watch- A HORROR movie, Ringleader’s least favorite genre. This one in particular broke all the rules (which were to be established after this exact night). The rules are as follows:
1. No demons
2. No devils
3. No satan
4. No possession
5. No hell
6. No dammed…..are you sensing a theme?

Based on these guidelines: once a year, date predetermined (but always in the month of October because it is the month of Halloween after all) Bitch is allowed to pick out a horror movie of her choice. As Bitch seems to have no fear of her own, the movies are pretty scary such as Mirrors, Descent and others we don’t dare mention around Ringleader as she is still traumatized and is currently in counseling with The Professional. Since then a few other rules have been implemented:
1. Lots of food - Food is a must, preferably cheesecake in large pieces. Going through 5 boxes of random Weight Watches desserts just doesn't cut it.
2. Red wine - Something with a title like vampire wine works well.
3. Bitch must stay over until Ringleader feels safe enough to go to bed on her own.

What’s in store for this year? The cheesecake is on order and movies have been picked. Now all we have to do is make sure Punk and The Professional will have their phones turned off before Ringleaders inevitable midnight call.

BBQ with the Moms

Mom advice - Life gets busy don’t let it stop you.

Finding the time to get together can be difficult and there isn’t always a giant chocolate pie to jump into. So when you want to hang out with the moms you have to get organized. The Momadonnas are queens at being organized and always have a back up plan. We call it plan “B” as in Barbecue. That’s because plan “B” IS A BARBECUE. We figure you have to eat anyway so why not do it together….

And just what does a Momadonna Barbecue look like? There’s lots of laughing and lots of food. We will barbecue anything from Steak and lobster to pizza (Now that was an adventure! Just watch the crust to make sure it’s done). That said my favorite thing to watch them barbecue is Bling’s six-inch burger. Yes six inch, not the six-dollar burger that’s from Carl’s jr. and this burger does measure up to 6 inches when it’s fully loaded! However that is just too much burger for a camera to capture, so for the picture above we had to make it plain in order to fit.

Why a BBQ? Other than the food a barbecue is a great way to relax and be you. For example last week Bitch let out a burp that not only earned her a few high fives but a marriage proposal as well. Another reason to have a BBQ is because it’s outside. We love being outside. The atmosphere and the quiet are quite fulfilling. Not that it is really all that quiet, for we moms can be quite loud. Even the Minions benefit from being out doors. We moms appreciate them more when they are outside. That is probably because they are MUCH MUCH MUCH less noisy outside than when they are stuck in a 12x12 room with you! However, as always when you bring Minions into the equation, you have to set rules. Here are the rules of BBQ:
1. No tattling
2. No tattling
3. Hey! Knock it off and stop tattling!
Hmm they sound a bit like all our other rules don’t they.

Road Tripping with the Minions (AKA Children)

It’s that time of year again and in a last ditch effort to get the most out of the fading summer months the moms go Road Trippen. Last weekend alone, 3 of the 4 Momadonnas were out on the road having adventures.

As moms we feel it is our obligation to bring our children along (Who knows they may just learn something). This is also in our best interest, for as any modern - moving going mother knows, a child will throw a party and destroy your house if left alone for any period of time.

Taking a child on a road trip can be demanding and things have changed in the last few years. The whole process of taking a road trip has changed as well. If you have been 26 for over 10 years as I have, you’ll remember the good old days of road trips. The days before we had all these rules to follow. You know, back in the days when the only “car seats” we talked about were “bench” or “bucket”. Back then your parents would load up the car with trip essentials and then they would try and stuff the kids in-between boxes and bags (sometimes horizontally). You were lucky to find the seat and even luckier if you had a seat belt.

The modern road trip process is more sophisticated than it used to be. The children are more sophisticated too. They actually expect a seat in the car! They have learned not to ask “are we there yet?” Instead asking “how many miles until the next town?” or “How fast are you going?” (Honest, at 10 my daughter was asking both and she didn’t even realize it was a real life story problem so she didn’t complain about the math!) Although it’s possible the children may enjoy the trip, it’s still a good idea to have a back up plan. Here are a few suggestions from the Momadonnas:

• Duct tape – Just kidding I don’t even keep it in the car (I’m too afraid I would use it).
• Goody bag – just be careful where you stow it. I know of children who would sneak a snack when their mom was dozing (in the passenger seat!).
• Sing with the Stereo – Either the children will sing with you or cover their ears. The Greece soundtrack seems to work well for me but my Minion plugs her ears. Of course that could be just because I can’t hold a tune, for who does not just LOVE Greece?
• Ipod – This is very handy especially with earphones. We tried streaming netfix. Unfortunately, that did not work so well in the middle of nowhere without any reception. However you can download games and movies too. Just make sure not to place the ipod on the dashboard. I know of one mom who ran off the road because she got distracted watching “her little TV”.
• DVD player – bigger than an ipod but still as riveting this works well on children, however one last piece of advice DON’T let kids watch Disney’s “UP!” it has been known to cause Minions to yell squirrel every half-mile…

What can you learn from the Momadonnas?

I love being a Momadonna. When people ask why I do a Mom blog I answer because its fun, but now I find myself wondering why would anyone want to read the blog? Is it because we have something to offer other moms…OMG can people actually learn from our experiences? I think so. Therefore, I have compiled a list of what you can learn from the Momadonnas.

You can learn how to:
Experience life, to go out there and try things! (Momadonnas take the bull by the horns!)
Budget effectively. (How to have fun on $20 or less)
Show affection for your spouse - possibly with cake. (The Accessories)
Be the best you can be. A Mom is a superhero to someone. (Moms Unite!)
Appreciate diversity. (Comfort Foods)
How to make an appropriate dessert for any situation. (Short Pie)
Declare your own independence! (Declaration of wine dependence)
Let us strive to improve ourselves. (Vegas or BUST and Better Moms)
Let go of fear. (Carrots)
Don’t take yourself too seriously. (Locked Out)
Acknowledge your own self worth. (It’s MY Turn)
Making the most of any situation. (Civic Duty)
Try something new. (Beginnings)
How to have fun! (Everything we have written)

Back to School Party

The kids are back in school and now is the time for a back to school party! However, as you know, the Momadonnas do things a bit differently so this back to school party was for the moms. Yes that’s correct – THE MOMS. We moms love it when the Minions go back to school. It reduces our worries and adds some structure to our lives. So we decided that before the homework gets four feet deep and the children start a mutiny we ought to throw a party. Like on the Bounty, the Minions may mutiny when they compare the idyllic summer life to the harsh reality of school.

Invites were sent to all the mothers we could find explaining how it was good for moms to get to know each other, bond, and talk about the children behind their little backs. Presto! The back to school party was on. I will point out the moms were not the only ones at the party. We invited the minions too. We had to. It is important that they also enjoy going back to school and its not like we do much of anything without them anyway. Hmmm and maybe just maybe we didn’t want to pay for a baby sitter.

Ok, ok so its possible the party wasn’t quite the quick fix it sounds. There was a bit of work and research involved. For example, going to Familyfun.com to find out how to make crowns for our cup cakes. This proved harder than I thought and ours ended up looking a more like the leaning tower of Pisa but short, flat and bumpy. There was also some shopping to be done. Not that I’m complaining about having to do a little shopping. That would be very un-mom like and I did find the cutest little shoes on sale… ahhh shoes. Anyway we just had to have the perfect cups (bright colored plastic martini glasses) and mini magic wands (to mix our drinks with). When all the preparations were complete it was time to relax and reap the benefits of all that hard work.

The party was a success and even though we had to share our queen mom cupcakes and drinks with the Minions, we still had fun.