Random Musings of the Week

The Ringleader was out of sorts last week. She doesn't know why, but man was she grouchy and unfortunately when the Ringleader is grouchy, she lets everyone in the group know about it! So Bitch decided that she was going to make The Ringleader get out of her funk, and she did. Bitch took Ringleader out to lunch and got her loaded on lemon cookies. Then they went shopping, which is always a sure fire way to bring out some good spirit. The following day Bitch forced (literally, as in practically dragged The Ringleader by the arm) her to go grocery shopping. You should have seen how fast the two got THAT job done. It was amazing and definitely set a new world record somewhere - moms around the world would be jealous. Bitch then picked up her minion and headed over to The Ringleader's where she proceeded (ready, are you sitting?) to CLEAN The Ringleader's kitchen. WOAH! Unexpected and completely appreciated. And then, ahhhhh, the wine came out. Of course any de-funkifying therapy session must include wine. It's in the rule book. Look it up if you don't believe me. The Ringleader cooked up dinner and fed the minions and her accessory-she prefers bling- (who was happily partaking of the wine and dinner by the way). The Ringleader decided that since it was snowing, it must be hot tub time! (No, the fact that she had several glasses of wine did not influence this decision at all, for reals.) This is where it gets good. I want you to picture Bitch and The Ringleader in their tinsy swimmy suits trekking through the snow in slippers, down a very slippery hill, to climb over the hot tub to enter (as steps have yet to be built for access to the pool-of-fun). The Ringleader did not want to have to get out to refill the wine goblets, so she filled them to the top before they went out. A very strategic tactic let me just tell you. Well, Bitch slipped. It was the most graceful slip known to mankind. As she landed on her practically bare booty, she tried oh-so-hard to keep the wine from spilling but alas, out sprayed the wine. The RED wine spilled in a "someone just got murdered blood spray" out over the clean white snow. There was Bitch, on the snow, with blood red wine all around her and The Ringleader screaming "Accessory, accessory, hurry come here and bring more wine!" Imagine what the accessory thought as he saw Bitch and the wine. Ohhhh the joys of life! What lies in store for next week?

Disclaimer: No wine was actually harmed in the duration of the evening. A booty perhaps, but no wine and thanks to Punk's awesome stainless steel wine goblets she gave The Ringleader, no goblets were harmed either. :)