The Ringleader

The Ringleader

The Ringleader - now doesn’t this sound like a good place to start. It sounds so catchy unless you are the Ringleader then it almost sounds like work. Our Ringleader was named thus by someone outside the group. Someone who very much wanted in…but if there weren’t those who wanted in why bother having a club? Of course we can thank this wannabe for helping us realize that we are a club or maybe I should say a gang. Yes a gang of moms who will gun down anyone not in a pink bandana who enters our territory. No, we are not like that at all. We are, and always have been, a very desirable group of women. We can’t blame anyone for wanting to be with us.

Having a Ringleader is a fundamental part of any group because, among other reasons, someone has to be the organizer. How else will you know when to get the moms together? When is it warm enough for a barbeque? When the kids been apart too long? Is it time for a play date? Who is bringing the wine and how many bottles should there be? This is all part of the Ringleaders duties. That said the Ringleader’s first priority and primary duty is always: to help the rest of the group get together and have fun. When a party is planned she will help get the ball rolling often volunteering her own home, the food, the entertainment, and her first born all order to get things off on the right foot.

It is difficult to become a Ringleader. First, you have to be of high social standing. Not a queen or a duchess (although it does help) but someone who understands the finer aspects of the social graces. Our particular Ringleader is the only person I know who will send out thank you cards to the children who attended her child’s birthday party. The Ringleader can combine mom groups as easily as she can laugh. Speaking of laughing an additional quality all Ringleaders should have is a good laugh and a great smile. Which is not hard if you’re also good looking and, of course, the Momadonna Ringleader is. The Momadonnas figure if you are not good looking why would anyone want you to lead them? These qualities also help when you are in charge of adding new recruits to the group. As you may have guessed a Ringleader has to be able to attract the right kind of people …we don’t want just anyone. Then comes the hard part. We have to try and keep them. Our Ringleader has the rare talent of making everyone feel special. Whether this is due to her superb memory or gracious smile we may never know but somehow she seems to put it all together into one essential package.

If someone asks the Ringleader for assistance they can rest assured she will give her all for the group. So you ask, what about her? What does she get out of this? Well it’s not all glamour and parties. There are no roses. Not even a trophy (although there was a tiara once) and there is a cost for all this perfection. Our particular Ringleader is a clean freak. Yes, its true, and whether its because of a particular genetic trait or due to the volume of people in and out of her life, she feels she must keep everything at home in order. In fact, sometimes she will put the other Moms homes in order too. She has been known to clean walls, ceilings and stairs before a party and will not go to bed until the dishes are done! When does she have time for all this you ask? At night? No not even at night. It turns out Ringleaders do not sleep. Its true and we have carefully watched our own particular Ringleader to verify this. There is no time for sleep in her life. In addition we have also found the Momadonnas Ringleader likes vampire books. Do you think this is a coincidence? We have often wondered and although we decided it probably is, the group suddenly seems to be very into wearing scarves.

Everyone appreciates a Ringleader. Ringleaders are especial adept at breaking down the walls between people and putting them at ease. This is especially beneficial for those who do not feel comfortable in a group. The bottom line is a good Ringleader can make everything feel right, but she can’t do it all alone. That’s why you always need the bitch.